So it's been more than 4 months since my last blog entry and I thought I owed you an explanation. I've gotten several emails from people wanting to know if I was okay. Had I abandoned the Smart Networking blog? Had I gone into witness protection? What was going on? Well, here's the story...
Where I've Been
In April my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. He had never smoked, but according to Uniting Against Lung Cancer, 10-15% of cases occur in "never smokers." And because no reliable early detection mechanisms have been developed - unlike mammograms or colonoscopies - the mortality rate is higher than any other cancer.
With no options except chemotherapy, and with a very small chance it would reverse the disease anyway, and knowing how excruciating it had been for my mother who passed away in 1995, my father declined treatment and chose to live out his remaining time - the doctors said six months -- at home under hospice care.
It took me a while, but as soon as I could delegate, fulfill, or put on hold all of my business obligations, I flew to San Francisco in May to take care of him full-time. I knew there wasn't much I could do except keep him comfortable, but it was important for me to do SOMETHING.
I am so blessed to have a spouse who fully supported my decision. While I was away, we spoke every night, texted all the time, and saw each other every other weekend when he made the cross-country trip to be with us. The hospice chaplain said I was an angel for my father. Well, my husband Chris was definitely an angel for me.
I was prepared to be in California for the whole summer, expecting a slow and steady decline, but nothing I couldn't manage. Before I left home, I even suggested to one of my Platinum Level coaching clients that we could meet out there for her one-day intensive session, which appealed to her since she had never been to San Francisco.
What I wasn't prepared for was my father's rapid deterioration, and the accompanying physical, emotional and mental toll it would take to be a primary caregiver in such a dire situation. When he passed away the day after Father's Day, just two months after the diagnosis, not six, I was too exhausted and still had too much to do to really grieve.
It wasn't until a week later, when I was back home in Delaware, that all the emotions hit. A piece of music, a thought, an image (like the one on the right of him carrying me as a baby that I found in an old album) would trigger a rush of tears. It was obvious I needed to devote some time to my own healing.
But I also felt compelled to figure out where I go from here. I felt forever changed by this experience and it just didn't feel right emotionally or intellectually to simply jump back in and pick everything up where I had left it in May. I had discovered gifts I never knew about and I wanted to re-examine what I had been prioritizing in my life.
For example, some things I made time for because I had a deadline even though I felt no joy in doing them. While other things I was more passionate about I tended to push off or neglect altogether because of lack of time, and lack of urgency (i.e., no deadline). That's a totally upside down way to live!
Where I'm Going From Here
So that's why I've been laying low here on the blog and on my email newsletter these past few months. I did remain active on Facebook as I found it escapist and therapeutic to interact with my online friends, even for just a few minutes each day.
After thinking through a lot, I've put some goals on paper for the coming months, and while I haven't figured out everything I want to do or how everything fits, I feel I've gotten back on the path at a really good spot. One I can feel totally happy about as I look ahead.
Some things in my business I'll be re-starting, some things I'll be dropping, some things I'll be changing up, and some new things I'll be creating.
I learned many lessons both during the experience and in the aftermath that I am bursting at the seams to share in the hopes of helping those wanting to leap to the next stage of their business and personal growth find their strength, their motivation and most of all, their truth.
Stay tuned...








