My second favorite group (and sometimes they overlap with the first), are people who can become potential referral partners. These are entrepreneurs, professional service providers and small businesses owners who talk to my market on a regular basis about topics related to my expertise, like career coaches, public relations folks and marketing consultants.

These are services that my clients can use from time to time, so I like having resources ready to recommend when they need them. But just as important, referral partners can help bring in a steady stream of new clients.

Rather than build a relationship with someone in a disparate industry that might result in an occasional referral, for the same effort I can build a relationship with someone in an adjacent industry that can open up a whole pipeline of new business for both of us.

The benefits of partnering

Build more customer trust and loyalty. The more resources you are able to share, the more completely you can serve your market. This will help you be seen as a go-to resource and allow you to transition from mere service provider to trusted advisor.

Break into new markets more easily. Building awareness of your personal brand in a new market takes time and money, but you can shortcut some of the process by leveraging the trust and credibility of your referral partner. If you provide copywriting services for financial advisory firms, for example, you can offer the same services to insurance agents by partnering with someone who already serves that market but with a non-competitive offering.

Give you a sounding board. If you have trouble navigating your new client's bureaucracy, or just want to bounce ideas off of someone who knows the players, you can turn to your referral partner for important insight and feedback.

Allow you to think big. Sometimes you don't see the full potential of what you can create in your business until you see what others are doing, how you overlap, what their strengths are, and where you can take the relationship further. That's when the fun really begins. In working together, you might discover new products to create or new expansion opportunities that you would never have thought of tackling on your own.

While many of us who start our own businesses or who become solo professionals value our independence, it's invaluable to have people at our side to give us extra strength, visibility and insight in the market.

Now that we've touched on the benefits of partnering, in next week's post I'll cover some of the key things to look for in the perfect referral partner. Until then...

Note: Tired of networking with people who are more interested in selling to you than helping you?  Learn how to build productive relationships that can accelerate revenues in your business in the 5-week Smart Networking tele-course.

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Are you heavy on tactics and light on strategy when it comes to networking for your business? You'll know if you're feeling at all frustrated that the time you've put in is far outweighed by the meager results you've gotten out.

Trouble is that when we get into this situation we think we need to do more, and we look for solutions in the form of other tactics that we might not have tried yet. But imagine if you took 5 random ingredients from your refrigerator and threw them into a sauté pan. What are the chances you'd have a finished dish that you'd actually want to eat?

Yet that's what so many people do to remedy networking that isn't working. Adding more and more stuff to an incoherent mess and getting further and further away from enjoying a satisfying, yummy, filling meal. In fact, after all that work, most likely they'll be hungrier than ever.

A tasteful and successful dish

Crafting a successful dish in the kitchen starts with having a fairly good idea of what you want the dish to be, deciding what it should look like and taste like in your mind first. Only then can you choose the right ingredients to create it. It won't work the opposite way. You can't make beef wellington with Caesar salad ingredients no matter how skilled in the kitchen you are.

It's the same thing with networking. You need to have a good idea of the kind of help you're looking for and who might be able to give you that help before you venture out online or in person to meet them. Otherwise you'll have too many people in your network, nice folks as they may be, who can't give you the kind of help you need and not enough of the people who can.

A strategy helps you narrow down where to spend your networking time. That's especially important for entrepreneurs and business owners who know that every minute spent on networking is time they're not spending on client service and other key business responsibilities.

And let's face it, none of us has unlimited time to network, nor unlimited time to wait for networking to work. We want to do the things and be in the places that will give us the greatest likelihood of meeting the right people. But to do this, we need to focus on the who before the how.

When you're compiling your list of key relationships to build for your business, be sure to consider these different groups:

Those with specialized knowledge

Speaking with folks who can give insight, advice and market intelligence on key industry trends, news and people can help you find hidden opportunities to capitalize on.

Those who actively network

People who are active on social networking sites or who frequently attend networking events will be valuable not only because they understand the concept of networking, but also because they have a large network to connect you to and a steady inflow of new contacts.

Those who've already achieved

Having role models who've already accomplished the goals you've set for yourself can be inspirational, and they can help you shortcut your road to success by giving you firsthand advice on the mistakes to avoid.

Those with access to money

You'll never know when you might need a small business loan, private investment or some other form of financing for your business.

Keep in mind that being deliberate and focused about who you network with doesn't give you license to be a jerk to everyone else. You want to be friendly and respectful to everybody you meet and never burn bridges. Even if you don't think someone can help you, they could be of great help to someone you know.

Knowing how to build your network is crucial, but knowing how to tap into your network for help is even more important. After all, if you can't get the help you need for yourself or for others from the people you know, where will you get it?

Some people are reluctant to ask for help out of fear of looking helpless or a fear of rejection. But giving help is actually very natural. As Daniel Goleman wrote in Social Intelligence, "Our brain has been preset for kindness. We automatically go to the aid of a child who is screaming in terror; we automatically hug a smiling baby. Such emotional impulses...elicit reactions in us that are unpremeditated and instantaneous."

So when someone sees us in need at a primal level, they react automatically to ease our suffering. With a higher-order need like finding a job, however, we're less likely to get help for it by screaming like a five-year old.

The art of the ask

Asking for help can be tricky because when someone isn't able to deliver on your request, it can cause negative feelings on both sides. On the other hand, asking for something that can be fulfilled creates positive feelings, which then strengthens the relationship and sets up an environment for more help to flow in the future.

The key is to think "relationship" rather than "transaction" and put more thought into how the other person feels instead of what you immediately need.

Four things to consider

Here are four things to consider when asking your network for help:

Ask for something easy to give. It's easier for someone to give you advice on how to position yourself for a job than it is to give you a job since few people have unfilled positions in their back pocket just waiting to hand over to you. However, most folks do love to share insights and experiences, and talking about things they've done takes little effort. It does take time, though, so keep the time request small as well. You'll get more contacts to agree to a 15-minute phone chat than a two-hour lunch meeting even if you offer to pick up the tab.

Take the pressure off. You never want people to feel badly about not being able to help you, which could hurt the relationship in the long run.  Instead, always include a pressure-release valve with every request by saying something like, "I know you're very busy, so if you're not able to do this, I completely understand." Or phrase your request differently by saying, "If you feel comfortable introducing me to John, I'd appreciate it," rather than, "Can you introduce me to John tomorrow?"

Smart networkers excel at getting the help they need from their contacts when they need it. They think carefully about who to ask and what to ask for. More importantly, they ask for help in a way that contributes to, rather than detracts from, the health of the relationship. Keeping that connection intact helps ensure that contact will be there in the future, long after this immediate need has passed.

I moderated a networking panel recently where the first question during the Q&A period came from a woman in the audience who said, "I've been looking for a job for a while and trying to improve my computer skills in the meantime, but I haven't been able to find anything. What should I do?"

One of my fellow panelists said something I generally agree with, which is to find people who know you and your work and ask them for help, either in getting the word out about your need or helping to connect with you with others you should know.

None of us were prepared for her response: "They're all dead."

Yes, the woman was well into middle age, but could ALL the people she knew be dead, or were maybe some just avoiding her?

Being able to get help from your network when you need it is where the rubber meets the road in relationship building. Whether you were too busy working on your own personal stuff that you didn't make time to build relationships, or you built them and lost touch with them, or you built them and burnt them, the end result is the same: at some point in your life when you need supporters, you won't have them.

So what should you do instead?

First, make the time. Now. Today. Don't wait. Let's face it, none of us "have" the time for things we're supposed to do that might be good for us, like drinking eight glasses of water a day, doing 30 minutes of cardio five times a week, or sending cards to our relatives on their birthday. You have to make the time in your schedule on a consistent basis to nurture the relationships you already have, get to know the people you work with everyday, and get out there in person and online to add new contacts. (Read my prior post Can't Afford the Time to Network? for tips on how you can accomplish a lot in just a 30-minute block of time.)

Third, focus your goal. You can spread yourself too thin by trying to cover too many bases. "I'd like to get into the healthcare field as a research manager, but I'm also thinking about opening a Subway sandwich franchise, or maybe teaching astronomy to high school students." If you go in with that elevator pitch, you'll lose people quickly. Even if you do have multiple passions, lead with the one you're most excited about and which has the greatest potential (hopefully there's an overlap). That way, rather than flit from event to event, you can spend more time in one place, meet more people when you're there, have deeper conversations, and build closer connections.

Your success with reconnecting with old contacts and getting their help depends less on how much time has elapsed, and is more a function of the strength of the relationship when you last saw each other, the person you are now, and the clarity and specificity of what you're looking for.

HOW you ask for that help is also critical and we'll discuss "The Art of the Ask" in next week's post. Stay tuned.

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Ever feel like you're speaking a completely different language when you're relaying your branding message or elevator pitch to others? Even when you deliver it coherently without stumbling over your words, something seems to be lost in the translation because people just aren't "getting it?"

What's often lost in the translation, what others aren't understanding is, "What's in this for me?"

What's in it for me?

Defining your brand and differentiating yourself are important, but at the end of the day, people won't buy from you or hire you unless they understand how they will benefit. And while you can make the translation easily and automatically in your own head because you're so familiar with your work, it's a shift that's not so easy to make for someone hearing it for the first time (or even the second or the third).

So no matter how enthusiastically and cleverly you are broadcasting, "Here's who I am and what I do, shouldn't everyone want this?" potential clients, hiring managers, and networking contacts are waiting to hear, "How can this help me or someone I know?"

Speed up the understanding

How do you relay your brand message so that others see the value more clearly? Here are four ideas that can speed the absorption of your message:

Focus less on what you do and more on what your target market gets. How specifically will their life or business change once you're in the picture? Will they make more money, decrease risk, save time or hassle? For example, don't just say, "I'm a financial analyst" but instead say, "I help companies make more money with their investments."

Go into more detail using examples. Since a good percentage of the population is visual, sometimes telling a story can illustrate the benefit much more clearly. You can describe a problem that you faced and the result that was gained. For example, "The company was spending money in marketing that wasn't bringing them any customers. I worked with them to invest in programs that brought in new customers and eventually tripled their revenues.